Jesus and Divorce
Divorce hurts. Sadly, this hurt extends beyond the divorcees to their children, extended families, and closest friends. Everyone knows this. Yet, people divorce at extraordinary rates. Why? What good reason exists that justifies wounding so many lives? What is it that has caused the divorce percentages to scale to astronomical heights?
Some argue the no-fault divorce laws are to blame. Since Governor Ronald Reagan signed the first no-fault divorce law in America in 1969, people divorce for any and every reason. Reasons range from “I don’t want to be married to you anymore” to “we have irreconcilable differences.” To be sure, the no-fault divorce laws have contributed to the dismantling of marriage in our culture. But laws are not to blame. No, it’s something much deeper.
THE SIN NATURE
Ultimately, responsibility rests on the human condition. And by that, I mean humanity’s natural inclination toward selfishness and pride — something Christians refer to as the sin nature. It’s often been said that the sin nature is one Christian doctrine that can be empirically proven.
Let me give you an example. Currently, I have a toddler. She’s amazing. I love her to pieces. Yet, I’m able to see her sin nature every day without much effort. She throws temper-tantrums when she doesn’t get her way, hits her baby brother, and disobeys a lot more than she obeys. And guess what? I never had to teach her how to do any of this. She does this naturally.
Adults don’t grow out of this either. Sure, we might be more sophisticated in our sin, but we’re still selfish creatures by nature. Instead of throwing temper tantrums or biting people, we’ll give people the silent treatment, gossip behind their back, or seethe in bitterness toward them.
GOD’S ORIGINAL INTENT DISTORTED
In a perfect world, devoid of sin, marriages would never end in divorce. From the beginning, God determined that marriage between a husband and wife is to be life-long (Gen. 2:24). Yet, sin entered into the world, which consequently led to divorce.
In Deuteronomy 24, we find that the Mosaic Law places some stipulations on divorce. We read in verse 1:
If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce…
The text goes on to say that if any of the divorcees remarry and divorce their new spouses, they aren’t allowed to remarry each other. The point I would like to draw to our attention is the fact that already (fifth book of the Bible), divorce is a very real thing, which required God to regulate and mitigate the existing practice.
During Jesus’ time, religious leaders differed over the meaning of Deuteronomy 24:1. They divided specifically over the Hebrew words erwat dabar which translates to “something indecent” in our English Bibles. In fact, two major camps came to opposite conclusions.
SHAMMAI AND HILLEL
The conservative school of Shammai understood erwat dabar (something indecent) to refer to sexual immorality. In fact they understood erwat dabar to be synonymous with debar erwah “a matter of nakedness.” It was their understanding, therefore, that sexual immorality was the grounds for divorce spoken of in Deuteronomy 24.
The more liberal school of Hillel, on the other hand, emphasized the word dabar “something” and took that in context with the phrase “a woman who becomes displeasing to him” earlier in the verse. Their conclusion, then, was that a man could divorce his wife for anything she did that upset him — like overcooking the vegetables.
One Jewish document — the Mishnah — articulates the differences between these two camps:
The School of Shammai say: A man may not divorce his wife unless he has found unchastity in her, for it is written, “Because he has found in her indecency in anything” (Deut. 24:1). And the School of Hillel say: [He may divorce her] even if she spoiled a dish for him, for it is written, “Because he has found in her indecency in anything.”1
JESUS AND DIVORCE
Jesus would have been familiar with both Shammai and Hillel’s views on divorce, and the Jews wanted to know which camp Jesus belonged to. Therefore, we read in Matthew 19:3:
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
Notice the Pharisees have ulterior motives as the text indicates they came “to test him.” They’re trying to force Jesus into picking a side. They want to know what he thinks about Deuteronomy 24. Jesus replied in verses 4-6:
Haven’t you read that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh”? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.
Notice what Jesus does here. Instead of referring to Deuteronomy 24, he goes back to Genesis. He doesn’t dodge the question per se. Rather, he thinks they’re asking the wrong question altogether. In effect, the Pharisees have elevated Moses’ regulations above God’s creation mandate. Instead of “can a man divorce his wife for any reason?” they should be asking, “what does God want for marriage?” Jesus responds, God wants marriages to be life-long. Marriage is too important to flippantly disregard for overcooked vegetables.
Since Jesus didn’t directly answer their questions, they asked a follow-up question in verse 7:
Why then did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?
They want a straight answer from Jesus. They’re not going to let him off the hook so easily. Jesus responds in verses 8-9:
Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.
Notice, Jesus corrects the Pharisees assumptions. They asked why Moses “commanded” divorce in Deuteronomy 24. Jesus corrects them by saying Moses “permitted” it. You see, both Shammai and Hillel believed God commanded divorce under certain circumstances. Moreover, Jesus affirms that Moses permitted divorce because “your hearts were hard.” Put another way, divorce is the tragic result of human sin, but it wasn’t part of God’s plan from the beginning.
EXCEPTION CLAUSE
While Jesus affirms the life-long mandate of Genesis 2, he gives one exception — “except for sexual immorality (porneia in Greek).” In other words, divorce is never permissible, unless someone is sexually unfaithful. If a spouse commits porneia, then Jesus allows for divorce, though it’s not commanded. Additionally, most biblical scholars believe that Paul allows for divorce in the case of desertion (1 Cor. 7:15).
Not only does Jesus differ from both camps by only permitting divorce instead of commanding it, he also differs radically by applying the same principles to women (Mk. 10:11-12). According to both Shammai and Hillel, only men could divorce their wives, not the other way around. You can see the differences among the three in the chart below:
DIVORCE PERMITTED, THOUGH NOT GOD’S IDEAL
Though Jesus permits divorce in cases of sexual immorality, it falls short of God’s original purposes for life-long marriage between a husband and wife. With that being said, the person who has obtained a biblical divorce as the innocent partner and remarried should not feel guilty. In this case, divorce was the result of sin, but it wasn’t their sin.
Additionally, though the rest of the culture is free to pursue no-fault divorce, Christians have no excuse to divorce for reasons such as they don’t feel in love anymore or they have irreconcilable differences. Scripture doesn’t allow divorce for these kinds of reasons.
Be that as it may, if a believer gets an unbiblical divorce, as destructive as that can be, it isn’t the unpardonable sin. If one confesses their sins — and getting an unbiblical divorce is sin — then God is faithful to forgive them (1 Jn. 1:9). After all, this is why Jesus had to die on the cross.
Which brings us back to the beginning. Sin ruins marriages. If you’re married, know that your sin is eating away at your marriage. So take the time to confess and repent of your sin. Adopt the mindset that there is a log in your eye and only a speck in your spouse’s eye. That’s what Jesus says to do. Follow his advice, and your marriage will be the better for it.
